The Appliance Delivery Before Christmas – An Appliances Online Poem

December 22nd, 2015

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The Night Appliance Delivery Before Christmas

(with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore and Henry Livingston)

800px-Matthew_Wreath_Enhanced_Brochure_Picture(source: Kevin Kahle on Wikipedia)

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

My rugged old fridge was filled up with care,

So tomorrow our guests would eat the food there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of iPad apps danced in their heads.

And mamma in her ’kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long summer’s nap.

When out in the kitchen there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash,

When from the back of the fridge I heard such a crash.

I inspected the fridge and cried out “Oh no!”

“The compressor is busted – this fridge just won’t go!”

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a blimp hanging low in the sky, loud and clear!


There in the gondola, so lively and quick,

The Legend was there, behind the joystick.

Driving below, a fleet of trucks came,

The Legend whistled, and called each driver by name;

“Now, Wazza! Now, Bazza! Now, Gazza and Dixon!

On, Gary! On Barry! On, Donny and Kitson!

Let’s deliver these fridges! Look out – they’re not small!

Get a move on and deliver them all!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to each front door in my street the trucks flew,

With the trucks full of fridges, and microwaves too!

And then, in a twinkling, I heard my doorbell,

Which I opened on up, feeling quite swell.

Before I had time to utter a sound,

Through my door the Legend came with a bound.

He was dressed in his uniform, from his head to his boot,

(My wife later told me “he was a bit cute!”)

A brand-new fridge/freezer he had on a trolley,

And out of a pocket stuck a candy cane lolly.

His eyes — how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And he said “I’m from Appliances Online, dontcha know?”

An impressive beard surrounded his teeth,

And a great mane of his hair ’round his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a stout little belly,

That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He gave me a smile, like a right jolly elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And installed the fridge; then turned with a jerk.

Taking my old fridge, and striking a pose,

He loaded it into the blimp as it rose.

He climbed in the gondola, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all drove like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he flew out of sight,

Legendary Service to all, and to all a good-night!”

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from the Appliances Online team.

Remember, our customer support team is available 24/7, 365 days a year, including the Christmas and New Year holidays – feel free to contact us whenever you need our help!

Mark joined Appliances Online in November 2011 and has since learned more than he ever expected to know about appliances. He enjoys looking for new and unusual ways for to solve everyday problems using typical household appliances. When he’s not toiling at the desks of Appliances Online and Big Brown Box, he tries to find time to write the next big bestseller and draw satirical cartoons, but is too easily distracted by TV, music and video games. Mark’s favourite appliance is the Dyson Groom Tool, as he loves the concept of vacuuming your dog. Google+

4 responses to “The Appliance Delivery Before Christmas – An Appliances Online Poem”

  1. Robert Brindley says:

    Brilliant !!

  2. Mark Bristow says:

    Thanks Rob!

  3. Anara says:

    wow, amazing 🙂

  4. Mark Bristow says:

    Thanks Anara!

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