July 26th, 2012
This is a blog for idiots. You know who you are. Let me explain, I know. Because I’m one of you! You may be particularly brilliant at a particular area of your life (ours is constructing forts from empty cereal packets), but in terms of general household maintenance ... completely hopeless. Don't worry. I get you. We’re the people who forget to turn off appliances. Barely ... Read more
July 20th, 2012
As human progress screams headlong into a golden age of convenience and unlimited laziness ... it’s about time we call out manufacturers on the appliances they AREN'T making! We’re calling it 8 Appliances That Haven’t Been Invented Yet – these are items which will meet specific demand that consumers have been crying out for years. We’ve even given them some helpful names to help prod those lax inventors ... Read more
July 11th, 2012
We've covered ants and cockroaches, now here's your one-stop, everything-you-need-to-know, flat-out awesome how-to guide for getting rid of rats. Ahhh, rats. Sneaky, cunning and the ultimate survivors. Slimy, stinky and disease-ridden. Sort of the lawyers of the animal kingdom. And, of course, particularly drawn to places like kitchens and laundries. Not only do they offer warmth and food - but potential sources of shelter ... including that offered ... Read more
July 3rd, 2012
Here is a blog about a fridge. Oh, god, I can almost hear you pitching head-first into your keyboard with the boredom of it all. Think how I feel. I have to write this because Louise asked me to. Well, hang on there, tiger. Hoist yourself back to the upright position – there you go, easy does it - now I come to look at it, this is ... Read more
July 3rd, 2012
Appliances Online and Electrolux are joining forces to help the charity 1 Million Women take action against climate change with a competition that puts four environmentally-friendly fridges up for grabs. 1 Million Women is an organisation dedicated to helping Australian women live more sustainably on a daily-basis – each member taking on the challenge of cutting one tonne of carbon pollution from their lives over 12 ... Read more
June 28th, 2012
Members of the Appliances Online marketing team discovered the link between cake and porn last night. When at last we stumbled out into the cold night air, we were satiated and energised… with a distinctly sweet taste in our mouths. Let me explain. “Porn.Cake” is a new production running at the Stables Theatre, Sydney, until July 14. We went to see it, and duly enjoyed a creamy slice of contemporary ... Read more
June 25th, 2012
You know those foods that are the hardest to eat in social situations? The ones that often end up splattered down the front of your shirt. Usually, to the horror - or worse, amusement - of your dining companion. Well, here’s a little guide to some foods more likely to end up your clothing than in your stomach. With some tips n' tricks on how to handle ... Read more
June 15th, 2012
On the back of a couple of recent blogs devoted to culinary habits of a more unusual nature we thought we’d take a gander at some of the more unique taste-sensations out there. These things fall into the criteria of foods that are highly popular ... yet only appetising to a very finite set of palettes. That they involve some disgusting, prurient or dangerous detail to ... Read more
June 7th, 2012
So, you're a free-wheeling bachelor about town. It doesn't matter why - maybe you're stuck in a permanent state of arrested development, maybe your ex left you for a therapist called Alan or Elaine or something, maybe they found you in bed with a small scotch terrier - whatever. Relax, it's all good news, my friend, 'cos you have control of the kitchen. You've no one to ... Read more
May 31st, 2012
This blog is written from a dark place. There's a lot of rage in it. A lot of pain. Call it a primal scream ... from the kitchen. It's the hub of the home so naturally the kitchen is a place where First World Problems arise ... (oh, for the uninitiated "First World Problems" are apparently petty but actually deeply traumatic things suffered in the developed world ... Read more
May 17th, 2012
So you had a quite a lot to drink with your mates last night. You were feeling pretty peachey at the time. It was the advent of a new era of peace, love and understanding. You may or may not have spent at least an hour talking to a tree. And it was only decent and right to have those tequila shots. Hell, if you had refused, ... Read more
May 14th, 2012
Merrick and Rosso have opened up the so-far largely untapped goldmine of appliance-related comedy. Their "Almost Transformers" sketches for the Comedy Channel comes as something of a relief for us here at Appliances Online, who have been crying out for more of this unique strand of humour. The sketch features numerous "Whitegoods in Disguise", displaying their transformative powers amidst the general public. We note the line-up includes ... Read more
May 7th, 2012
With celebrations for the Diamond Jubilee Festival (marking 60 years of the Queen being Queen) kicking into gear, a portrait of her majesty made from cake is set to go on display. Apparently this royal sugar hit will be constructed from 3,120 individual cakes (each representing one week in her reign). Handcrafted by the bakers at Konditor & Cook, a central London-based caked shop, it’ll require more than ... Read more
May 1st, 2012
We're probably going to sound a little prejudice here, but we don't like cockroaches in our appliances. Okay, cockroaches are a fact of life - hey, in Sydney's Inner West some of our best friends are cockroaches - but if you see one walking out of your microwave it's enough to put you off your reheated left-overs. Cockroaches dig warm, moist hiding spaces - hence, they ... Read more
April 26th, 2012
A genius marketer has been discovered touting the “magical and mysterious” properties of their clothes dryer. Available right now for sale on something called “Ebay”, this apparently innocuous Fisher & Paykel whitegood has a fairly amazing pedigree. Not only does it have the aforesaid magical powers, it has also doubled for Edward James Olmos on Battlestar Galactica and dated a prominent (albeit pint-sized) Australian game-show host. Fairly awesome qualities ... Read more