Vacuuming your baby & other oddities: 5 vintage vacuum ads

August 20th, 2012

Appliance Talk Vacuums & Floor Care

Looking back through the vacuum cleaner advertisements of yesteryear, it becomes clear this humble household appliance is useful for more than simply getting the floors clean. Here we present to you 5 benefits of vacuum ownership that are generally overlooked by modern-day manufacturers:

Vacuum your baby

The biggest problem with babies is that they are dusty. ‘However will I remove all this baby dust?’ is the common lament of new mothers, understandably concerned not just for the welfare of their progeny, but most importantly, the cleanliness of their home.  Fortunately, help is at hand with a Royal electric vacuum cleaner, as this ad from the 1920s helpfully demonstrates. Sure, you might have to relocate your child to the floor while cleaning is in progress, but on the plus side all your friends will be impressed by your homemaking skills. Remember, a dust-free baby is a loved baby!

Baby vacuuming: Figure B.

Retain your youth

As a woman, I’m fully cognisant of the fact that my only worthwhile characteristic is my (rapidly dwindling) youth. As the sands of time relentlessly wreck their damage on the fading flower of my girlhood, I find myself in a position where I need to avoid any activities that could be contributing to the aging process, such as cleaning the floor on my hands and knees using only a pair of tweezers, and despairing over the petty trinkets that my husband keeps giving me for Christmas. The solution to this problem is of course a Hoover vacuum cleaner, which, perhaps if I’m good enough, my husband will generously procure. A girl can dream! *sigh*

Nix your nagging

I hear ya, sister! I for one am sick of toiling as if it’s 1920 while my husband kicks back in his 1934 life of luxury, full of conveniences such as electric typewriters and adding machines. When for the cost of a Happy Meal, he could buy me a Hoover vacuum cleaner, which would reduce my toil by at least ten. Not to mention to the reduction in nagging! …Wait, not nagging – telling. There’ll be far less telling once a Hoover is in my possession, that’s a certainty. And for ONLY $4.50! Geez, why did I marry such a tightarse?

See, this woman’s husband has the right idea!

Fall in love

Life was a vacuum till I met you! Get it?! This is so amazing I’m going to get it tattooed on my face.

Part vacuum ad, part cautionary tale, this advertorial alerts consumers to the perils inherent in buying an “unknown and unproved” brand that happens to be sitting on the shelf. If the product you desire is readily available, it’s clearly inferior. The same goes for men.

Get some wear out of your ball gown

One of the sad facts of modern life is that there are far fewer ball gown-wearing occasions than once there were. If you, like me, have a surplus of unworn ball gowns clogging your wardrobe, the task of vacuuming presents the perfect opportunity to dust off the taffeta and get fancy! After all, you never know when your husband might choose to make a surprise visit home, and you wouldn’t want to confront him, in his fragile post-work state, with anything less than your best Audrey Hepburn impersonation. Otherwise he might divorce you, and THEN how are you going to afford $4.50 for new appliances, hmm?

Vacuuming fashion: Sixties style. Because it’s important to look your best while rendering your shag rugs and patio carpets clean.


Stay tuned to the Appliances Online blog for more vintage appliance ad updates, where we’ll look at pearlers such as this one:

And don’t forget to check out What Can We Learn From Vintage Fridge Ads to round out your knowledge of fridges and their many uses.



Louise is a writer with a passion for appliances, especially those that involve food. She is particularly fond of ovens because they enable her to make cake. Apart from baking Louise also enjoys listening to alternative music, dying her hair various unnatural colours and writing poetry that has been described (by her Nan) as 'quite nice'. On her appliance wish list is a Hello Kitty toaster and 'Hero' the barking dog-shaped hot dog maker. She lives in Sydney. Google+

4 responses to “Vacuuming your baby & other oddities: 5 vintage vacuum ads”

  1. Robert Brindley says:

    I’m a sucker for vacuum cleaners…….and I’m rolling on the ( recently vacuumed) floor with laughter….!! Very funny Louise.

  2. I am floored by your comment, thank you 🙂

  3. The Dealer says:

    Oh suck it up you two.

  4. Kate says:

    Ha ha, great reading!

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