MasterChef Musings – DIY yum cha

May 24th, 2012

Ovens & Cooking

Four seasons into MasterChef Australia, you might wonder how much longer a nation can continue to be entertained by a bunch of ‘ama-tah’ chefs running around having stress-induced emotional breakdowns before programmes with things like ‘a plot’ (other than which MasterChef contestant is going to burst into tears this episode as their ‘dream’ disintegrates before their very eyes like so much overcooked gingerbread) start to seem appealing again.

Don’t get me wrong! I can’t enough of it. Like a bag full of duck fat-fried doughnuts, there’s a deliciously moreish quality to this show that, nonetheless, leaves you feeling slightly nauseated and in need of a shower afterwards. Mmm, doughuts…

Anyway, to last night’s episode. The theme of the challenge was yum cha, with red team pitted against blue in a porky battle that contained all the things that make MasterChef great – Matt wearing something predictably outlandish, George acting like a kid in the grips of a red cordial bender, and more emotional outbursts than you can poke a pointed chopstick at.

Shockingly, (spoiler alert!) after a bunch of cooking and crying and ad-breaks, the blue team won, despite the fact their banana fritters were “like banana rolled in sugar and fried” (and your problem with this, Mr Preston, is what exactly?) and that they didn’t put any dishes out for ages cos they ran out of oil which made the fierce-looking roller derby player mad. But it was OKAY! They won, leaving the red team to languish in despair, facing an elimination challenge in which one contestant WILL BE GOING HOME, where their dream of being a professional chef will be CRUSHED FOREVER and they will lead a meaningless existence before eventually dying alone, surrounded by cats.

What was this blog about again? Oh yes. Yum cha.

If any of you after watching this bravura piece of televisual artistry feel inspired to TRY THIS AT HOME (despite contestants’ repeated insistence that you DON’T try this at home, ha ha), you’re going to need to invest in the following:

1. Deep fryer

Crispy spring rolls? Golden dim sims? Banana fritters that will imPRESTON even the fussiest food critic? (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?) For all of this, a deep fryer is your new BFF.

OMG SO DELICIOUS

Sure, you could fill a saucepan with oil, turn the heat up and hope for the best, but this is kind of a good way to incinerate yourself, William Shatner style.

Today’s home deep fryers offer safety, precise temperature control, and easy-to-clean designs.

Our pick: Breville Deep Fryer BDF200

•    3L Oil capacity
•    Removable dishwasher safe frying bowl and basket
•    ‘Cool Zone’ technology – Extends oil life

2. Food processor

While not absolutely necessary, a food processor is a real time-saver in the kitchen, especially when you’re chopping vegetables and mincing meat.

The filling for pork buns, for instance, requires you to finely chop Chinese barbecue pork which can be a bit of a nightmare if attempted by hand.

Pork bun, more like pork YUM, amirite??

Our pick: Philips Food Processor HR7774-30

•        Variospeed
•        Ice and pulse function + break resistant blender
•        Dishwasher safe accessories

3. Steamer

Soft, fluffy prawn dumplings can be yours easy as one, two, STEAM with a specially-designed food steamer from Appliances Online.

Eat this, and soon you'll be DUMPLING all other food types... (I'll get my coat)

Not only can you create delectable steamed dumplings and buns in the comfort of your own home, you can also cook vegetables, fish, and poultry without the need to add unhealthy cooking fats and oils.

PLUS certain models also allow you to steam rice at the same time – the perfect side dish to your oriental feast!

Our pick: Sunbeam Steamer ST6820

•        Delay-start and keep warm function
•        Instant steam function – 30 seconds
•        Separate rice bowl – steams up to 6 cups

Ta-dah! Now you can cook MasterChef-standard yum cha at home, which is 1) delicious and fun, and 2) ensures you never need to live in fear of seeing that infernal trolley containing your favourite dish speed past your table before you have a chance to flag down the waitress ever again!

Plus if anyone wants to know how to make those prawn things that won the red team glory, the recipe can be found here.

Meh, personally I think the red team was robbed. Robbed!

Til next time, fans! I’ll bet you’re SALIVATING in expectation… or CHOMPING at the bit… or… (what’s that? I’m fired??)