MasterChef Musings: Week One

May 9th, 2012

Ovens & Cooking

Like a two-minute noodle sandwich consumed from the kitchen floor at 4:30am while drunk on cask wine and Malibu, MasterChef is a guilty pleasure of mine.

I know there are better uses of my time – such as exercising, socialising, or anything else – but as a fan both of food and watching people suffer, there’s just something about this show that floats my proverbial gravy boat.

That and I have a fetish for Matt Preston. It’s his fleshy jowls – they just do… something… to me…

Anyway. With Channel Ten clocking up a million-odd viewers every episode, I know I’m not the only one with a penchant for Preston. So butter your crème brulée pots and fire up your blow torches as I take you on a journey through the highs, the lows, and the deliciously cheesy in-betweens of MasterChef Australia – the most addictive thing since cupcakes.

Highlights so far:

The surreal opening sequence dating back to 1990

Here I was thinking that Australia had invented MasterChef – not true! Turns out it actually began in the dark days of 1990 in some little-known country called ‘England’.

Check out the original opening sequence! The saxophone! The state-of-the-art slow motion egg flying through the air from a totally impractical distance! Gold, I love it.

George having his own ‘When Harry Met Sally’ moment over spinach and ricotta gnocchi

A picture tells a thousand words (most of them unprintable):

"I gotta go home and change!"

Some dude having an emotional breakdown less than an hour into it

Upon being told he had a place in the top 50, this man (appropriately dubbed ‘Emotionally Volatile Guy’ by a writer far wittier than I) like, totally lost his sh*t. Keep it together, man! You’ve gotta pace yourself with the emotional outbursts. Save the tears for something worthwhile, like when you’re inevitably asked by Adriano Zumbo to construct an entire Boeing 747 out of spun sugar and then fly it into the sun. Until then, take it easy, geez.

So many emotions

A Canadian man chipping his tooth on a can during the first challenge

Contestant Kevin ‘Big Kev’ Perry learned the hard way that teeth are a poor substitute for can openers during the first big cook-off – chipping his front tooth during Monday night’s show.

How real men cook

But like a true hero, Kev soldiered on not only to finish cooking his cider-can-up-a-chicken’s-butt thing, but to win the challenge and thus a spot in the top 25.

Is this even legal?

Three episodes in and already there have been tears, injuries, and violated poultry – these are the sorts of dramatic moments that MasterChef naysayers are depriving themselves of.

BTW for those who are interested, Kevin’s weird chicken recipe is available on the MasterChef website.

But personally I prefer this blogger’s recipe for a kimchi ramen grilled cheese sandwich:

Nutritious AND delicious!

Stay tuned for more masterful MasterChef updates right here at the Appliances Online blog – the best thing since sliced ciabatta with a side of prosciutto and a drizzle of garlic aioli. (…IS IT LUNCHTIME YET?)

Louise is a writer with a passion for appliances, especially those that involve food. She is particularly fond of ovens because they enable her to make cake. Apart from baking Louise also enjoys listening to alternative music, dying her hair various unnatural colours and writing poetry that has been described (by her Nan) as 'quite nice'. On her appliance wish list is a Hello Kitty toaster and 'Hero' the barking dog-shaped hot dog maker. She lives in Sydney. Google+

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