5 Essential Appliances You Need To Cure A Hangover
May 17th, 2012
So you had a quite a lot to drink with your mates last night.
You were feeling pretty peachey at the time. It was the advent of a new era of peace, love and understanding. You may or may not have spent at least an hour talking to a tree. And it was only decent and right to have those tequila shots. Hell, if you had refused, it would have seriously offended the tree who bought them for you.
But now it’s the morning after. The world suddenly seems a strange and forbidding place. You feel like you have a leaf-blower in your head. You need answers fast. You need five essential appliances to handle that hangover. Here they are:
1. Coffee Machine: Some revisionists have it that coffee is one of the worst things you can have with a hangover. These people are nuts. If you are feeling a little like a family of howler monkeys are shrieking self-righteously at you about temperance and moderation, then you need caffeine – STAT!
Our pick at the moment is the Delonghi Nespresso Essenza Coffee Machine EN90GYPLUS (left). Don’t worry if you can’t open your eyes properly for fear a. you’ll be blinded by sunlight or b. you’ll catch sight of yourself in a mirror, the capsule technology is a cinch and will involve little or no frustrated screaming. We recommend putting the coffee into a cup rather than sticking your mouth under the dispenser, ‘cos it’s going to be piping hot, thanks to the superb thermoblock heating system.
2. Billi Home Water System: True, coffee is a bit dehydrating so you might want to suck down some H20 at the same time. We therefore recommend a Billi (right), which dispenses fresh filtered water at the touch of a lever.
It’s fresh, it’s cold, it tastes great. Drink this stuff for about half an hour or so, and you’ll feel less like a group of Irish dancers are using your frontal lobe as a rehearsal space.
3. Juicer: Fresh juice is another sure-fire remedy in these situations.
We heartily recommend the Juicepresso (left) for your purposes. It’s approved to extract the juicy goodness from all sorts of things: fruit, veges, raw nuts, and wheatgrass – and is thereby able to handle even the most complex of hangover-cure recipes. And not only is it easy-to-clean, it’s also quiet.
And, bless, it does it all without judging you.
4. Sandwich Press: Naturally, you’re craving greasy food. But, again, time is of the essence – otherwise, as far as you’re concerned – you may actually die of misery.
That’s where the sandwich press comes in.
As a blog post by Louise “Appliance Queen” Carter once explained, these things offer quick-fire, no-fuss heat-ups of virtually anything … including (but not limited to) steak, chops, sausages and bacon and eggs. They do both sides of whatever you’re cooking at once and they’ll do it pronto. Just make sure you’re reasonably conscious while doing this (see coffee machines) – unless you particularly want to flambe your breakfast … and the rest of your house.
5. Hot Water System: Ultimately of course you’re going to have face the world in some way or other. A shower is a must. Something to cleanse the body and soul. Something to revive the spirit. Something to get the vomit out of your hair.
Well, you need a reliable source of hot water, such as a Rinnai Continuous Flow Hot Water System (left). Rather than keeping a set amount of water heated in a tank, these energy efficient hot water systems will heat up the water on demand – thus providing virtually unlimited amounts of hot water.
We say “virtually” because naturally you’re beholden to the limits of Earth’s resources. If you’ve been in the shower for two hours, it might be time to get out. And if you’re still wearing your clothes, it might be time to call in sick.
There you go, that’s our pick for the appliances that’ll get you through the toughest of hangovers. Hope that cheered you up – if not, chug a few bottles of Gatorade and take the rest of the day off. We here at Appliances Online feel your pain.
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