Christmas gifts for cat lovers

December 18th, 2012

Appliance Talk Humour

In case the barrage of Christmas carols, decorations, Santas and insane gift-buying-people people desperately wandering the streets with their teeth bared and the whites of their eyes showing has not tipped you off to the fact it’s Christmas, we have news for you: it’s Christmas.

Joy to the world. By now, you’ve probably got most of your Christmas shopping out of the way, but there’s always that one weirdo relative that you have no idea what to get. Don’t panic! Chances are, this person probably owns cats. So today we present to you 6 cat-themed appliance gifts for the shut-in who has it all:

Dyson DC34 Animal Handheld Vacuum

Fluffy leaving too much fur on the furniture? Whiskers on the windowsills getting thicker? Bed starting to resemble a bear?

This Dyson vacuum has been specifically designed to pick up pet hair, giving you a cleaner home faster than you can say “self respect”. It does this via a motorised brush bar, which operates like so:

Now you can have your eighteen cats and maintain a basic level of hygiene, too! Even better, the Dyson DC34 has received a five star satisfaction rating from our customers, who can’t stop raving about it:

FroliCat™ DART™

Perfect for those who both love cats and are lazy, the FroliCat™ DART™ will automatically project a laser for your pet to chase while you’re out of the house/too feeble to manually wield a laser pen:

Also doubles as an exciting lighting option for all those underground raves your aunt regularly hosts.

ScoopFree Self-Cleaning Litter Tray

Currently only available in America (where else?!) the ScoopFree litter box automatically rakes cat poop into a sealed repository, saving you the trouble of coming into contact with the grosser aspects of cat ownership. Once full, you can remove the whole bottom section and dispose of it quickly and easily. A brand new ScoopFree refill can then be fitted, ready for your cat to go to town on whenever the urge takes him/her.

Discarded marketing campaigns for the ScoopFree include: “Don’t like shovelling poo? This is for you!” and: “All the fluffy fun times, none of the faeces!”

Cat DJ Scratch Turntable

With this gift, your cat will soon be making fatter beats than Garfield after a week-long lasagna binge. Available from ThinkGeek, the Cat Scratch DJ enables your cat to scratch til their heart is content – protecting your furniture while providing hours of hilarious entertainment for the humans in your household. HILARIOUS. As so:

Cat Massage Center

It’s a well-known fact that cats have the toughest lot in the animal kingdom. If you think that a non-stop routine of sleeping, eating and being patted is easy, think again! It’s actually really stressful. Take it from Henri the Existentialist Cat: a life of luxury is the most tormenting of them all!

To relive the misery of your cat’s very existence, we suggest you get them a Catit Design Massage Centre. Simply fill with catnip (i.e. crack for cats) and watch in delight as your kitty gets its daily fix:

So there you have it, a bunch of gifts for the isolated loner in every family. Stay tuned for our next blog: Appliances for the End of the World. Including the air conditioner that works in temperatures of up to 4000°C, and a nifty wine storage cabinet that doubles as a fallout shelter. Til then, peeps!