Top 10 great movies starring appliances in pivotal roles!

February 28th, 2012

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We here at Appliances Online respect the Academy’s right to award their Oscars to predominantly human actors, but we would like everyone to pause for a moment to consider the role that appliances have made in elevating the art of film-making to new heights.

Presenting, for your enjoyment, some of the defining movie roles performed by bits of plastic, aluminium and metal (not including the cast of Twilight).

1. A microwave: starred in “Gremlins”. In Joe Dante’s seminal horror movie classic – for kids (god bless the ’80s) – a small town is invaded by a marauding horde of evil, pre-CGI puppets. When one poor woman finds her kitchen invaded by the critters, she defends herself as only a good small-town housewife can – with her microwave. The microwave distinguishes itself in the role by splattering the creature throughout its cavity-space, thus giving a generation of children a lesson in the dangers of improper use. Bravo!

2.  A sink: starred in “The Blob”. Another small-town is under attack, this time from a giant ball of radioactive snot. In one notable scene, a hapless individual (pictured at left) finds himself sucked head-first into the sink. This definitely wouldn’t happen if he had bought a Billi!

 

 

3. A gas cooktop: starred in “Fatal Attraction”. In this classic 80s movie uncovering the perils of (shudder!) dating, Glenn Close is bizarrely infatuated with (shudder!) Michael Douglas. In one infamous scene, Glenn leaves Michael a Valentine’s Day present, overlooking the fact that cooking family pets on the stove is considered a faux pas in certain American states. Despite the social embarrassment, the cooktop (appearing to be gas) does an excellent job – we think it’s a Westinghouse!

4. A fridge: starred in “Ghostbusters”. Sigourney Weaver leaves some yoghurt at the back of her fridge for a month and then finds it has opened a gateway to hell. *Facepalm*. This wouldn’t have happened if she had chosen a model with something like a frost-free multi-flow air system.

 

5. A washing machine: starred in “The Washing Machine”. Focussing on an ill-fated couple’s encounter with an evil front-loader, this movie taps into man’s primal fear of laundry. Able to switch itself on at will and develop a weird psychic link with the couple’s four-year-old son, the Washing Machine is “terror at 1600rpm.”

 

6. A toaster: starred in “The Brave Little Toaster”. In this delightful Disney romp, a toaster – along with his chums: a blanket, a lamp, a radio, and a vacuum cleaner – travel to the big city to find their master after being abandoned in the woods. A heart-warming tale which proves the old adage “a toaster isn’t just for Christmas”.

 

7. A vacuum cleaner: starred in “Over-Sexed Rug-Suckers From Mars”. Aliens create a monstrous half-person half-vacuum hybrid in order to “clean-up” the human race. Unfortunately, they’ve overlooked the fact the creature is an insatiable sexual monster. When will they ever learn? And no, we don’t see anything wrong with the title.

8. A coffee machine: starred in “Amelie”. Irritating doe-eyed, do-gooder Amelie plays cupid at her cafe bringing a middle-aged couple together with the undeniable charms of hot coffee. When successful, she covers the noisy sounds of their coitus (from the cafe’s bathroom, no less) by using the steamer from her Coffee Machine! Impressive in the circumstances, but probably wasn’t a whisper-quiet DeLonghi!

9. An iron: starred in “Home Alone”. Two goofy robbers (played by Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern) are trapped in a gruesome house of traps and menaced by a 10-year-old psychopath played by Macaulay Culkin. In one delightful scene, Stern (at right) demonstrates the perils of putting your face on a hot iron. Then a spider crawls across his scalded flesh. How we laughed.

10. A Chainsaw: starred in “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”. Okay, so we’re cheating a little with this because it’s not something we sell. But it is an appliance with one hell of a Hollywood pedigree. In this early example of its work, the proper – and improper – use of the chainsaw appliance is carefully outlined … as such, it is one of the first mainstream Hollywood movies that stars an appliance. Something of a breakthrough for appliance fans, paving the way for many other appliances to make it on to the screen.

Well, there you have it – a selection of amazing appliance performances in film. Let us know if you think of any more! Meanwhile, Appliances Online is hoping our new screen-play, a romantic comedy involving a robotised vacuum and a dishwasher (“Cleaning Actually”) is picked-up by Hollywood soon.

 

Richie is a Sydney based writer with sophistication, flair and hair. Aside from blogging and writing for Appliances Online and Big Brown Box, he is also a new playwright who had his first play, ‘The Local’ performed last year at the Sydney Fringe Festival. He is also the wicketkeeper for the Gladstone Hotel Cricket Club and his favourite appliance is any 3D Blu-ray Home Theatre System that can be delivered to his house free-of-charge in the near future. He was the lead singer of Van Halen in 2002. Google+

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