New Breville microwave makes it impossible to ruin food

August 19th, 2013

Appliance News Microwaves Small Appliances

Breville has been doing a lot of ‘food thinking’ in recent times – coming up with ingenious solutions to common cooking problems.

Now the boffins at Breville have turned their attention to the humble microwave. ‘How can we make it not crap?’ they asked, fondling their beards.

We can’t imagine it was easy, but somehow, they’ve done it. Introducing:

The Quick Touch™

More than a mere microwave, the Breville Quick Touch™ has been designed specifically to solve all the most common microwave mistakes. This means:

No more exploding food

Don’t you hate it when you put food in the microwave, only for it to be blown to smithereens?

‘Exploding food’ happens when you select the highest possible heat setting for an arbitrary amount of time.

However if you were to match the time setting and the heat setting to the weight of the food, you would not have this problem.

With the Quick Touch™, Breville has solved this problem by providing a set of digital scales (pictured above) with the microwave. This way you can weigh your food before it goes in. Then, the microwave will automatically choose the correct heat setting. And voila! Your food will emerge perfectly heated all the way through, with no risk of explosions.

No more confusing buttons

Breville believes you shouldn’t need to have a PhD in quantum physics to be able to operate a microwave. That’s why they’ve designed a bright and clear user interface (quite unlike the one pictured left) that uses actual words, rather than confusing symbols or abbreviations.

This Breville microwave will also tell you if you need to cover your food, and it will also let you know when it’s time to stir (by providing straightforward instructions such as: ‘cover your food’ and ‘stir’).

No more annoying beeps

If you, like me, are the kind of person who resents being harangued by your microwave, the Breville Quick Touch™ allows you to adjust the beep volume – so now you don’t need to broadcast the fact you have the midnight munchies to all the sleeping members of your household.

A turntable that isn’t useless

How many times have you struggled with your microwave’s turntable? Nothing makes you feel like you’re failing at life more than watching the turntable get stuck halfway through its first rotation; derailing your attempt to heat up your single serve of Easy Mac – meaning that you are not only sad and alone, you are sad, alone and completely incompetent at basic life tasks and that if you lived in the jungle, you would have been eaten by a warthog long ago.

Fortunately, the Breville Quick Touch™ has a self-locating turntable – which means no matter how generally hopeless you may be, at least you’ll be able to operate your microwave.

But wait, there’s “A Bit More”

Already a popular feature of Breville’s toasters, the ‘A Bit More’ function on the Quick Touch™ will remember the heat and weight settings for what you were just cooking, and then give you a little extra time at the touch of a button. This saves you having to program everything again from scratch if your dish needs just a little bit more time.

Coming soon!

Hold onto your horses, people – the Breville Quick Touch™ does not become available until October. Sorry.

To pass the time until then, I recommend you read some of the other hilarious and riveting articles on the Appliances Online blog, such as this one about waffles, or this one about the time my aunt was sick on my carpet. The time will fly, I assure you.